Another Dumb Question Husbands Shouldn’t Ask

When Nancy was risking her life for your possible viewing pleasure by balancing on top of our canoe on top of our van in Flamingo, Florida, trying to get shots of the Ospreys for “Osprey Family,” I asked a really stupid question. I was on the ground (the ladder to the van’s roof has a 150 lb weight limit). There was a lull in the picture-taking. Maybe the sun got to me, or I had too much time on my hands, or maybe I was just trying to be clever. I asked her, “If you fall, do you want me to catch you or the camera?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I had made a mistake. Immediately, she answered, “Catch the camera!”

I’ve heard of husbands asking their wives what they wanted for their anniversary or birthday and getting a reply like, “Oh, I don’t want you to make a fuss.” Then the husband actually does not get or do anything to make a fuss, only to find out that wasn’t exactly what their wives had in mind.  I thought I was too smart for that.  Now we know. 

If any of you were to ask what I plan to do now, my official answer is “catch the camera.” (So don’t bother asking until after such a situation arises.)  But you might want to keep in mind that, although it depends on the state of your marriage at the time, I’m guessing for most of you, it would be a lot cheaper and less hassle and agony to replace the camera equipment than the marriage.  Just saying.  Act accordingly.  If you are stupid enough to ask a question like that, then either action will earn you some grief.  I’m sure you’ll recognize that the grief can only be considered self-inflicted, and you’ll do the right thing.

My hands were full (as explained below), and I didn’t yet have a smartphone with a camera when Nancy got the Osprey shots. The above picture is for illustration purposes only.

This picture differs from the scene in Flamingo in two important ways:

1. The baby owl Nancy is taking a picture of is much lower in the tree, and she feels no need to stand on the canoe to risk her life for the shot.
2. The flash is mounted on the camera. Normally, she uses a Pocket Wizard^website remote trigger, with a miniTT1 transmitter on the camera and FlexTT5 transceiver on the flash. The flash is then held by a voice-controlled semi-autonomous mobile bipod (that would be me). In either case, the Better Beamer^review attached to the flash does a good job of focusing the flash so it can reach farther into the canopy on her bird images.